UPDATE: CBS Does The Right Thing! Imus Fired! I Push For IDIC.

What a difference a few hours make. MSNBC announced that CBS Fired Imus! All code talk has been dropped and words now say what they mean. America gets a break from racist, sexist comments about awesome female athletes.

CBS follows MSNBC and does the Right Thing.

It's all very confusing for those of us who have noted the recent misogyny in the popular CBS shows, like: CSI, Cold Case, CSI:NY, and Without A Trace. Does this mean that the network will take action against the Bruckheimer trend of punishing any independent female character who wants a complete sexual life? Of course, not. The Bruckheimer dynasty rakes in the green; so his women will continue to be punished for wanting pleasure. (Strangely, he doesn't seem to mind if they are successful at work...)

"Shock jocks get fired all the time."

CBS did the right thing in Firing Imus. Who cares if they dragged their heals and gaged the reaction to MSNBC "canceling" his show? (I do.) Response has been largely positive from the African American community. Young white men, on the other hand, are shown on various networks as thinking Imus' firing was Too Much. Still others thought it could be all worked out and that Imus could be rehabilitated. And some are asking what I'm asking:

"Why all this righteousness after such a long delay?"

You don't get righteous nine days later. Righteous is heat-of-the-moment, it's part of the Now. In reality, Don Imus was probably Fired because major sponsors pulled out and made it entirely unprofitable to keep him on the air. Did these sponsors have a fit of righteous -- or were they afraid of boycotts? Maybe it doesn't matter all that much... I do know that African Americans and women who worked for some sponsors did the Right Thing and urged for their products to be pulled from the popular show; and they were.

I don't think it was all about the money. In the end, America has a good heart. We stepped up to the plate and drew a line, when it comes to Don Imus. Deep down, we all knew that it had nothing to do with Free Speech and everything do to with hate speech. We've come a long way since the Civil Rights Movement; but there are so many scars left to heal. I honestly hope that the ultimate end to what Don Imus said is to bring us together in diversity -- and that the Race dialog remains open.

Imus is still supposed to meet with the Rutgers team he verbally savaged.

The more I think about it, the more I think Star Trek's philosophy of Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations is a good ideal to strive for. After all...

It's my very difference that makes me who I am.

©2007 SilenZ

Imus Gets Fired. World Saved?

Last Night, Don Imus' simulcast was "canceled" by MSNBC. In TV parlance, "canceled" means Fired. MSNBC, being a major news provider, really needs to get off it's corporate tucas and say what words mean. Don Imus was Fired for saying nasty, racist things about awesome female athletes. I say that Imus should've been canned immediately -- and now let's take a good look at the culture of gangsta rap that thinks it's perfectly fine to degrade women on a songly basis; but what do I know? I'm just a gimp on the dole.

Being a disabled woman, I'm often at the wrong end of the talk radio stick.

My friend Thomas, much to his chagrin, made me aware of how the disabled are portrayed on right wing talk radio. I must say that I was shocked that on conservative talk radio programs, Social Security for the disabled is equated with welfare. It's not. After I picked my chin up off the floor, I explained the difference to Thomas. And I thought about just how "acceptable" it is for talk radio hosts to degrade the disabled. I thought about how Rush Limbaugh talked about Micheal J. Fox while mimicking Fox's physical movements. Limbaugh's implication was very clear: Fox is faking and exaggerating the effects of his Parkinson's Disease. Sanctions didn't rain down upon his widdle head. Limbaugh's still spewing his own personal brand of Hate.

This just goes to show that the disabled make good targets because we're less visible, because we often prefer adaptation to activism.

I'm guilty of invisibility. I Passed. Now that I'm out of the disability closet, I try very hard to be seen. It's not easy.

Interestingly, I found out about Imus being Fired from a fellow Union Member, who thought I was quite possibly insane for not thinking the whole Imus Thing Going On was about the First Amendment. (She also pointed out that Imus is an equal opportunity bigot.) I replied that it was about Hate, Racism, and Misogyny -- none of which should be tolerated on a basic cable "news" show. My friend asked me that as a writer, didn't I believe in Free Speech? I replied:

"Damn straight, I do! I believe in the First Amendment as it was written. I just don't believe casual Hate has any place on a news channel. "

MSNBC did a brave thing in correcting their initial "suspension" of Imus. It would be great if CBS Radio would step up to the plate and remove Don Imus from the air.; but they won't. You wanna know why? I'll tell you why: Hate is alive and well on talk radio. It thrives there. And as far as I can tell, it isn't going anywhere. In my opinion the FCC is pretty lax when it comes to hate on the radio. Evidently, on the radio, Hate is Free Speech because it's profitable.

"Why does Imus even matter?"

He matters because he has a powerful Voice and people listen -- they learn to think his "humor" is not only funny but acceptable. That's a very scary thought. But words are a double-edged sword: they can wound but they also can heal. Only when we call Hate out for what it is does it lose it's grip. I say, Good On You, MSNBC. Let's keep the Race dialog open and flowing. And let's really take a good listen to what gangsta rap is saying and ask ourselves, not only why but what can we do about viral Hate?

Imus Gets Fired. World Saved?

Not by a long shot. Imus and Anna Nicole are just distractions from what really matters: we're still in a war over oil. And our brave service men and women are still being killed. Viral Hate is running rampant in the world, on TV, and the internet, and on our ipods. I don't know if the world can be saved from itself. I do know, however, that we all have a Voice. It matters very much what we say with that Voice. It's all about choice. I choose to use my voice for Good.

©2007 SilenZ

PS: My momma taught me that we're all equal and equally flawed. She also taught me to read things for myself. Here's the full text of the First Amendment for your own self: Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

Anna Nicole Smith's Baby Daddy & Grief

Larry Birkhead is Dannielynn Smith's biological daddy. I suspected this all along. There was just something painfully true about his story. Not that this story is anywhere near over -- now come the custody battles. I feel sorry for this little girl. It's got to cause scars when you're an infant and every single person who loves you is fighting over you. I hope all the adults in this case all get over their bad selves and do the right thing by this little girl. Dannielynn needs love, love and more love -- and for the adults around her to Grow Up.

Don't get me wrong. I'm well aware that love doesn't conquer all; but it helps.

When I heard the DNA results, I thought of Anna Nicole Smith. I thought of how for the last few months of her life, she was hounded by the Press -- as we all watched. I cannot imagine what it would be like to lose someone you love and have the press all over you about it. I understand that Anna Nicole died of an overdose of prescription drugs; but I know she died of Grief. (I've been to the Smoking Gun. I read Anna Nicole's autopsy report.) In the US, Grief is ignored, subjugated and denied. I wouldn't want to suffer through the grieving process in public. My own grieving process has been more than enough, thank you.

In the United States, most employers allow two days for bereavement time, if they offer it at all.

Since the Spanish Flu epidemic of 1918, those who mourn have been both denied grieving rituals and respect for their devastating emotional loss. I've stated over and over to folks in my grief support group that I wish that there were still allowances for Grief. I wish I could wear full mourning black for a year and be respected for that decision. I announced I wanted to bite each and every person who asked me if I'm "over it" yet. The only time I felt like I belonged was when I lit my mother's light on the Hospice Tree. Everybody agreed with me. Nobody knew what we could do to change the way things are. Couple Grief with Chronic Pain, and you have a debilitating combination. Which brings me back to Anna Nicole Smith...

Anna Nicole Smith was the most lovely train wreck.

I watched her break on Entertainment Tonight and Nancy Grace and Fox News. What I saw in her last interviews of her was a woman in Pain -- physical, mental and probably spiritual Pain. She'd just lost her son; and we just couldn't stop watching. Does that mean that we're all responsible? No. Does it mean that we have no respect for mourning in this country? Yes.

I'm lucky. I was able to be with my mother and help her in her last, precious hours of this life. I knew what was coming, and in the end, Mom's death was a crushing blow. And yet, I was and continue to be surrounded by family -- family who shares this same Grief. We are united by Loss. Through my mother's death, became a stronger family unit. I understand this experience is very, very rare. Poor Anna Nicole mourned alone in public.

Her daughter Dannielynn Hope is just a baby. But someday, she's going to read and watch all the press coverage of her mother's death. She's going to have to sort the wheat from the chaff. What will she think of all of us who demanded the "whole story" from the Press? How will she be able to sort the Myth from her Mom? I hope that the storytellers in Dannielynn's life are both honest and kind.

When you lose your world as an adult, at least you're the one writing the story...

©2007 SilenZ

Lost Boyzs & Found Life

Sunday night, in a fit of misguided nostalgia, I got to thinking about a couple of boys I used to know. The last I heard of one, he may or may not have graduated from university and had run off to the Midwest to run a bathhouse or maybe just go to a bathhouse. The other one was busy pretending he wasn't related to Somebody Famous. After just a little tooling around on Google, I found them both. The first one landed in San Francisco, where the grad schools and bathhouses are better. The second one heads a neoreligious dynasty. Which just goes to show that No Matter Where You Go, There You Are.

I don't think life is predestined. I just think you end up exactly where you're supposed to be. What you do with your life once you get there, however, is entirely up to you. I ended up disabled in constant chronic pain. Today, I'm doing laundry.

My life is small. I like it that way. It gives me time to think.

And it's comforting to know that I'm where I'm supposed to be; and so are you.

©2007 SilenZ

Passing Thoughts

"Howdy! I Pass. Have a nosh."

I know it's not PC, and a lot of disability rights activists would take away my cane and whack me with it; but I Passed. Having invisible disabilities allows for a world misperception -- and not disclosing them sometimes created options I otherwise would not have had. Mainly, I chose to Pass until it was time to come out of my disability closet. And for a long time, there were about a million reasons to be labeled Able.

Then, when Passing became physically and mentally impossible, I just Stopped. It was time...

"Yo! I'm Out Now!"

I'm not an Angry Activist. But I've got some things on my mind. I've noticed over the years how the disabled are marginalized and treated as less — and consistently paid less for the job as that performed by an able-bodied person. Our very disability status is often questioned and derided without compunction. Even the American language marginalizes with so-called acceptable expressions, like: “That’s retarded.” (I hear this often among young people and, most disturbingly, mostly from young women. Why is this?) Some disabled folks routinely apply labels like “gimp” and “drooler” and “dain bramaged” to themselves; but these labels are used not to include or create haven but to take away from those who would use them against us first. (The only exception to this rule is among Polios, where the word “Polio” is used to not as a generalization but to include and define.)

People with disabilities are still viewed as less.

Disability is often a matter of perception before acceptance. Prejudice against those who appear obviously physically or mentally challenged is deeply ingrained in our culture. If one doesn’t appear disabled, there’s also a weird reverse discrimination. I hate that the most.

But you don't look Disabled...

Just because I accept my disabilities doesn't mean that I am those things. I exist as the Other. My trans friend gets it best; he, too, views disability as a sort of Third Space. I am Disabled but I am not Unable. I'm imperfect and yet a Borg Twin. It's all very fluid.

If I am Disabled and I'm Out, then who am I?

I live with constant, devastating, chronic pain but I define myself as Aphasic. I rarely use self-degrading expressions and then only to others whom I perceive to be Disabled — and then only when they will not understand what “aphasia” is or means or at times when I cannot explain comfortably. As a rule, society views the brain injured as damaged. I am not damaged. There are also times when I don’t claim my Aphasia, as I don’t appear brain-injured outwardly — and it’s just easier that way. But --

I never for an instant forget who I am: Pain and Aphasia — two invisible disabilities, indivisible, whole & yet diverse.

©2007 by SilenZ

EyeZ open

"Why SilenZ?"

Because whenever I watch On the Waterfront, I'm chilled to the soul. All of my adult life, I've lived that famous line: “You don’t understand! I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I could’ve been somebody, instead of a bum which is what I am...”

"Why SilenZ?"

Because You Can't Tell By Looking At Me. Chronic Pain is an invisible disability. And unless I choose to tell you, it's silent.

I used to move like a dancer. I used to be a dancer. Inside, I still dance. Outside, I do the stillness dance. I've always been a writer.

My personal dance with pain reminds me of the actress Louise Brooks. It's subtle and cannot be separated from the physical. My own life feels like perfection, like Pandora's Box.

“The Vision blurs. Who’s in control here, anyway? As Louise Brooks dances across the screen, I cannot believe this is what GW Pabst had in mind — but by all accounts, it is. Pabst had a dancer’s eye, and Brooks --whether she admitted it or not-- followed his “choreography” very well. Pandora’s Box is the perfect blend of Vision and Form. Its power is locked deep inside the cadence of its whole — writing, direction, acting, shadow. In this case, I cannot separate actress from director. It’s as though the two are blended into something better, something pure. The image almost explodes off the screen at times. (This “purity,” for lack of a better word, is also evident in Diary of a Lost Girl as it now exists.) If silents had been allowed to exist for even ten more years, we’d be speaking another film language now — perhaps a hybrid of shadow and dance? Pandora’s Box really should have ushered in an era of silence perfected..."

My pain has now lived longer than the heyday of silent film. It has attained its perfection.

Now, I'm giving it a voice.

©2007 SilenZ